


I Want Love

by notjustmom



Series: Season 4 Song Fics [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:27:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9674927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: "I want love, but it's impossibleA man like me, so irresponsibleA man like me is dead in placesOther men feel liberatedI can't love, shot full of holesDon't feel nothing, I just feel coldDon't feel nothing, just old scarsToughening up around my heartBut I want love, just a different kindI want love, won't break me downWon't brick me up, won't fence me inI want a love, that don't mean a thingThat's the love I want, I want loveI want love on my own termsAfter everything I've ever learnedMe, I carry too much baggageOh man I've seen so much traffic...""I Want Love," Bernie Taupin, Elton John





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MorganeUK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganeUK/gifts).



"Thought I'd find you here." John sat on the bench next to Sherlock.

"You asked Mrs. Hudson." Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"Nope. It's Tuesday, you've been coming here on Tuesdays for the last few weeks to feed the ducks."

Sherlock looked at John, and saw something in his face he'd never seen before.

"Why now?"

"I've been an idiot."

"Yes." Sherlock looked away and focused on feeding the ducks. "You don't want -"

"How do you know?" John asked quietly. "You never asked."

"I observed, John." Sherlock rolled his eyes. "And you married a woman, John, remember?"

"I was angry. You -"

"I died. No. I left. I left you. That's what you always thought."

"It's what happened."

"No. Not quite."

"Then tell me."

"You want to know. Now?"

"Yes." John took Sherlock's hand in his and threaded their fingers together.

"John." He squeezed John's hand lightly and pulled it away.

"Tell me."

"I left for you. It was always for you." Sherlock spoke to the duck who was glaring at the bread in the detective's hand. "I never left you. I never wanted to leave. I made a tactical error. Arrogant. I was arrogant, thought I had him beat. I did. I did beat him, but it didn't matter. He knew my weaknesses, weakness. He had snipers on you, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. But I really jumped to save you." He flattened his hand and the annoyed bird took the bread with only a tiny nip. Sherlock shook the bag out showing the ducks he was done, then finally turned towards his friend.

"Why didn't you want me with you?" John's voice quavered. 

"It wasn't possible, John. And I couldn't." Sherlock sighed. "I couldn't risk losing you. I needed you to be in the world. I know that sounds odd coming from me. But, all I've ever wanted for you was your happiness."

"Did it ever occur to you that you made me happy? Happier than I've ever been in my life."

"It couldn't have lasted, John. I could never have -" Sherlock's words faded and he started to get up.

"Stop. Look at me." 

"John." Sherlock sat back down, shook his head, but looked at his friend's earnest, glowing face. "You can't - you don't want -"

"I can and I do." John reached up and pulled Sherlock into a gentle kiss.

John broke off the kiss and grinned as Sherlock's eyes had darkened and his breathing had changed. He laid his hand against Sherlock's neck and whispered, "Pulse elevated."  


"Hmm." Sherlock nodded. "You know I'm still, uhm, 'me'-"

"Yes. I don't want anyone else, but you."

"What about Rosie?"

"We could make a nursery out of my old room."

"You want to come home?" Sherlock whispered, his voice was betraying every emotion he thought he had buried so long ago.

"Please?"

"What do you want, John?" 

"Everything." 

Sherlock bit his lip, and tried to make the words come out, but for once, they failed him, and all he could do was nod.


End file.
